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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Where does the time go

It seems that time is passing way too fast these days.  It also appears that the older you get the faster time goes.  I hope not as I still have way too much to do and I really don't want to get any older.

Things have been the same around here.  I sometimes wake up thinking or probably more likely - hoping that these past three months have just been a horrid nightmare but they haven't. I miss her so much.  I love nothing more that spending hours in front of the computer looking at photos of her.  This helps a little but then I get sad that I cannot reach out and touch her.  My wish is that she will come visit me and tell me that everything is ok and that she is happy and healthy where she is. Only time will tell.

Stuart and I are hoping that her headstone will be finished soon.  It is taking so long to be made.  The stone we ordered had to come from India so that has held things up by a few weeks or more.  The stone mason will then hand carve it and erect it for us.

Stuart Mishae and Jacob are doing reasonably well.  I think I am doing well because I have some lovely friends who have been through the loss of a child and know exactly what I am feeling.  I know that when I speak to them then they fully understand where it is I am coming from.  They have been an absolute godsend for me.

Our lives are slowly returning to normal although it is a new normal now.  Stuart and I find ourselves with so much time for just the two of us.  It is a bizarre feeling actually as we have always had a child that needed care etc..  Jacob is nearly 16 and is very much able to wipe his own bum now so doesn't really rely on us for much - other than the phone charge top up every month...............

Stuart and I are heading up to Rockhampton this coming Thursday for 4 nights with 25 other Toyota FJ Cruisers.  There will be about 15 from down this side of Rocky and then others are coming down from Cairns etc.... It is going to be a fun filled 5 days of 4wd and socialising.  I bought Stuart a GoPro so we are hoping to get some use out of it for this weekend.  Hopefully we do some scary driving and get some good footage.  I will be taking my camera too so I am sure I will get a few good shots to share.

I and a few girlfriends were supposed to be doing the color run this weekend but the weather was not good so they have had to reschedule.  Was so looking forward to it but now we have to wait until June.  Am hoping that they don't put it on during the June long weekend as that is my yearly getaway with the girls weekend. I can tell you now that I will not be a happy camper if that is the case.

This is only a short post tonight to say that we are still here and still managing to get through each day.  They say that it gets easier however at this point in time I have no idea how........ I am guessing the pain will always remain the same and you just learn to live with it.

On a happier note - I get to organise a baby shower......NO before you even ask it is not me........  My girlfriend Alex and her husband are having their first little bambino and I offered to organise this for her.  If you have any tips of links to great webs sites then please send them through to me.  All help greatly appreciated :-)

God Bless you

Leanne :-)

Friday, April 5, 2013

12 Weeks Today

Wow I just cannot believe that it has been 12 weeks since we laid our dear sweet baby girl to rest.  The pain is still so raw and I often wonder if it will ever ease.  Just is not right for a parent to bury their child.  So many children are still dying from this horrid disease.  Surely if we can put men on the moon - we can cure cancer................ Just don't get it........

This was our first Easter without our little princess and it was hard as this would have to have been her favourite holiday of the year.  You see, Emma was a chocolate lover from way back.  If she could have had chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner then she would have :-)

Stuart Jacob and I drove down to Tea Gardens/Hakes Nest to spend Easter with the family.  It was fun seeing the kids on Easter morning but also sad knowing that Emma should have been there celebrating too. The drive takes about 7 1/2 hours and let me tell you that patience has never been my virtue.  I loathe driving that far.  It probably would not have been too bad had I been allowed to actually drive but alas Stuart was having no part of that.  Humph he certainly doesn't mind me driving after he has had a few wines though........ Here are a few photos of our weekend away.  We are lucky enough that the family own a large outdoor adventure camp The Great Aussie Bush Camp.  We had loads of fun on the new high ropes course, archery and of course the humungous new flying fox.  Don't think it is as big as the other one they have but still fun.
My sister in laws and I were supposed to go horse riding on the Saturday.  Wow what a fizzer that was.
We headed out to Bulga Creek all excited and ready for an hours ride only to arrive there and not see a horse in sight.  The young lady asked us if we had seen the horses when we drove in and we said no.  We can't find them she says.....  She told us to get ready and put our helmets on.  OMG the helmets were disgusting and full of ants and spiders.......I refused to wear one so she gave me hers.  We asked why she was't going to be wearing one and she said that there were not enough horses as all but 4 were lame..and that she was just going to walk the horses.  Yeah right why would I want to be led around fro an hour when I was expecting a proper this stage we had been waiting 20 minutes.  At this point we were discussing amongst ourselves if we should just go get our money back and go home.  Horses still had not been found or saddled.  Enough was enough so we ended up getting a refund and headed home - all a little sad that we didn't get our ride but certainly happy to be out of that place.  There was one poor horse there that looked like it needed a good feed.  Felt so sorry for it.  So Warning to all those who are thinking of heading to Bulga Creek to go horse riding - DON"T DO IT........

My gorgeous Nephew, Tyler

Stuart on the High Ropes course at our camp

Sarah and Cooper enjoying the high ropes course

Matthew on the final part of the course, the flying fox

Jacob and his nanny

my handsome man xxx

Stuart threw me over his shoulder and I still had hold of my camera :-)

Cooper giving me his serious look

Cooper in the back ground with his boogey board

My little Jack Jack, so adorable for a three year old

Jack Jack again playing with his bubbles

Little Finlay enjoying the pippies that the big boys caught

My spunky sister in law (Sarah)

Spent the day here on the beach, absolute perfection.  Gotta love Australia

Matthew harnessing up for the big flying fox

We are so very blessed to have such a beautiful close knit family.

I have started studying my Certificate IV in Education Support and have been lucky enough to get  part time work at Hillcrest Christian College.  I am going to be learning support helper for a child with speech learning difficulties.  Am so excited that I have been given this opportunity.  The study is going to be difficult but I want this so bad so I will get it done.

If you have made it to the end of this post then HOORAY as it seems like a bit of a long one.   Would love to share some creative stuff but just haven't had the urge to do anything these past few months.  Sneaky little Miss Em must have taken my mojo with her......  Just like her to do something like that :-)

My dear friend Alex has her induction at her Church this weekend.  She is now the Youth Pastor at Church of Christ Burleigh Heads and will be preaching this Sunday.  Well Done Alex :-)

Leanne Love :-)

Life your life to the fullest and have no regrets - life is far too short