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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Where does the time go

It seems that time is passing way too fast these days.  It also appears that the older you get the faster time goes.  I hope not as I still have way too much to do and I really don't want to get any older.

Things have been the same around here.  I sometimes wake up thinking or probably more likely - hoping that these past three months have just been a horrid nightmare but they haven't. I miss her so much.  I love nothing more that spending hours in front of the computer looking at photos of her.  This helps a little but then I get sad that I cannot reach out and touch her.  My wish is that she will come visit me and tell me that everything is ok and that she is happy and healthy where she is. Only time will tell.

Stuart and I are hoping that her headstone will be finished soon.  It is taking so long to be made.  The stone we ordered had to come from India so that has held things up by a few weeks or more.  The stone mason will then hand carve it and erect it for us.

Stuart Mishae and Jacob are doing reasonably well.  I think I am doing well because I have some lovely friends who have been through the loss of a child and know exactly what I am feeling.  I know that when I speak to them then they fully understand where it is I am coming from.  They have been an absolute godsend for me.

Our lives are slowly returning to normal although it is a new normal now.  Stuart and I find ourselves with so much time for just the two of us.  It is a bizarre feeling actually as we have always had a child that needed care etc..  Jacob is nearly 16 and is very much able to wipe his own bum now so doesn't really rely on us for much - other than the phone charge top up every month...............

Stuart and I are heading up to Rockhampton this coming Thursday for 4 nights with 25 other Toyota FJ Cruisers.  There will be about 15 from down this side of Rocky and then others are coming down from Cairns etc.... It is going to be a fun filled 5 days of 4wd and socialising.  I bought Stuart a GoPro so we are hoping to get some use out of it for this weekend.  Hopefully we do some scary driving and get some good footage.  I will be taking my camera too so I am sure I will get a few good shots to share.

I and a few girlfriends were supposed to be doing the color run this weekend but the weather was not good so they have had to reschedule.  Was so looking forward to it but now we have to wait until June.  Am hoping that they don't put it on during the June long weekend as that is my yearly getaway with the girls weekend. I can tell you now that I will not be a happy camper if that is the case.

This is only a short post tonight to say that we are still here and still managing to get through each day.  They say that it gets easier however at this point in time I have no idea how........ I am guessing the pain will always remain the same and you just learn to live with it.

On a happier note - I get to organise a baby shower......NO before you even ask it is not me........  My girlfriend Alex and her husband are having their first little bambino and I offered to organise this for her.  If you have any tips of links to great webs sites then please send them through to me.  All help greatly appreciated :-)

God Bless you

Leanne :-)

5 comments:

Michelle Heyworth said...

You're so beautiful and strong Leanne :) I'm sure God has a plan. I just pray He will give some understanding and peace to you and the family.

Good luck with the baby shower! such good news!

Anonymous said...

I think of you and Emma so often Leanne. Happy to help with some ideas for baby shower if you need them ! You know where I'm at if you want to message me .
Dawn
Ruby May Designs xxx

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

Thinking of you daily ... xoxoxoxo

Lea said...

I often think of you too Leanne. I believe Emma is free and happy and healthy. OX

Lizzyc said...

I do still think of you and send prayers up for you.. I see the photos you put on FB and quietly pray for you..I am so glad you have friends who have and are walking the road you are walking, I hope you all find strength in each other.. I hope the baby shower is a time for you to be creative and share in the happiness of your friends.. I just google baby shower ideas and there are heaps there... take care.. xx