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Monday, March 25, 2013

Not alot

It seems like ages since I have done anything at all crafty but lately I just haven't really wanted to.  It seems so trivial and a little silly sometimes.  I did however attend a class with my girlfriend Val last weekend in Brisbane.  We had classes booked with Finnibair.  An amazing artist as you can see if you visit her blog.  I missed Saturdays class but did the journal cover class on Sunday.  Wowsers what a brilliant class.  I loved my final product although I did grumble a lot whilst making it that it just didn't look right.  It all came together in the end though.

So this is the front of the journal.  Didn't get the back done - oopsies although It really doesn't bother me that it isn't done. I don't usually grab my journals and read from the back first anyway :-)

As I said I missed the Saturday as one of my oldest friends got married.  The weather was perfect as was everything else.  The bride and groom looked so fantastic and were so made for each other.  I am so happy that Kim has finally found the happiness that she has longed to find.  

I also have some beautiful news to share but cannot share it quite yet.  I will tell you all as soon as I am able.  It is exciting, well I think so anyway.

Oh joy of joys I forgot to tell everyone......... I got a part time position at Hillcrest Christian College as a learning support aide for a student in primary school that needs a little help. I will begin after the Easter holidays.  I will also be doing my prac with the little preppies.  How exciting is that going to be.  I love the littlies, they are just so sweet and innocent and come out with the funniest things sometimes.

Anyway I really should be reading my text book or something a little more productive.  

I wish all my readers a joyous Easter and remember guys the season is not about the rabbit and the eggs (although the eggs are pretty yummy) It is about so much more :-)

God Bless


Friday, March 15, 2013

Tyler G | BONDS Baby Search 2013

This amazing little man had the same cancer as Emma when he was younger.  He managed to beat it and has grown up to be the funniest little fellow I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  You only have to look at him and he cracks you up.  Please if you could vote for him in the Bonds Baby search 2013 we would greatly appreciate it .

Thank you

VOTE FOR TYLER  by clicking the following link

Tyler G | BONDS Baby Search 2013

Monday, March 11, 2013

And again, will it ever stop.....

Such devastating news from a friend today.  We met Deb, Damien and little Cooper at the hospital when he was first diagnosed with a brain tumour.  He is the sweetest, most adorable little man you will ever come across and emma was besotted with him the minute she laid eyes on him.  Never for one moment did I ever think that Coop would not beat this disease.  Just always had it in my head that he would win.  Today Debbie and Damien received the news that Coopers tumour was back.   I know how they are feeling and I know how much pain it is to hear the news that there is possibly nothing more that can be done.  WHY, I just don't get it...... I don't think I will ever understand.  Life just doesn't make any sense sometimes and lately it has made zilch, zero, nada, none!!!!!!

Here is a shot of Emma and Cooper on one of our visits.  Such an amazing little man.  Emma always managed to make him smile.  Don't give up the fight Cooper.  You can do this little buddy.....
Please pray for Cooper and his mum and dad (Debbie and Damien).  They are going to need all the prayers you can muster for the next little while.  
You can read about Coopers story here:  Coopers Journey

Can I ask that you visit Coopers page and leave them all a little love.

God Bless

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Cancer sucks

Woke up to the news this morning that another sweet child has been taken by this horrid disease way too early.  Samuel you fought as hard as you could darling but God wanted you back home.

Samuels passing has brought back all those awful feelings and my heart feels like it has been crushed again and again and again.  I struggle to breathe as I remember Emma's last moments, I keep thinking that I should have told them to sit her up as that way she would have been able to breathe easier but it would not have helped as her time here was done.  

I go about my day to day business assuring people that I am ok and some days I am but most days I am just an empty shell, empty of all feeling and happiness.  I wake every day wishing that I could stay in bed and not have to face the world or talk to people.  It is such a struggle.  I try to stay strong for others knowing that they can draw strength from that fact but it is hard, so bloody hard.

We went on our cruise and all I could think was about how guilty I felt doing that when Emma had only left a mere 7 weeks ago...... Everything I do brings guilt that I am here living and breathing when my precious little girl is not.  I pray that God give me strength every day and maybe he is but I don't feel it.

When they said that life was never meant to be easy I sure didn't expect this.  I know that the pain is never going to go away and if anything it will get worse, I just need to keep learning how to adjust my life to deal with it.

A friend said to me today and I quote

"My dad died of cancer. I look at it as if through his passing, he killed the cancer. In the end, he won "

I need to think of Emma as winning the fight against cancer............