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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

RIP sweet baby girl

There are no words, no words that could ever possible explain the pain that I am feeling at this moment.  To say that my heart has shattered would be the understatement of the century.  My body is numb yet I hurt all over.  I keep asking why, why our dear innocent sweet Emma.  Why not me or Stuart.  Why take someone who had their whole lives ahead of them.  I am never going to have the pleasure of kissing her forehead or holding her hand.  She will never have the opportunity of finding her one true love, getting married and having the family of 5 that she so wanted.  I miss her, I keep going to her bedroom but she isn't there.  How do I go for the rest of my life never being able to talk, touch or see my beautiful baby girl.

The last night of her life was the hardest.  Emma struggled so so much to try and breath.  We got an ambulance to the hospital but she had already started to go.  She couldn't breathe, she was delirious, I held her hand and told her that mummy and daddy loved her to the moon and back and that if it was all too hard then she just needed to close her eyes and find the angels to play with.

I can't believe she is not going to be here in the morning when we awaken.  How do we move forward, is it even possible.

RIP Emma Jade (loop loop) Love 04/01/2000 - 15/01/2013

61 comments:

Leanne Stamatellos said...

so many tears

xx Leanne

Allison Winchester said...

Beautiful xxoo

Anonymous said...

So so sad for you all, your gorgeous girl, gone. Try to get some rest Leanne, you must be shattered. Thinking of you all and you will be in my thoughts for a long time to come xxx
Dawn x

Tracey said...

Leanne, Stuart and family, Emma touched so many people's hearts. She will always be remembered. You are all in our thoughts and we send you love. May your beautiful Angel Rest In Peace.
Love the Drescher's

Tanya Knight said...

My heart goes out to you Leanne..I remember the many nights we sat in the Scrap yard together creating pages of our girls and the beautiful pics you had of Emma...we are all here to support you and your family for whatever you may need. Love and Hugs and i hope to see you again when you are ready.. With much love Tanya (former scrapyard chick)..

Colleen B. said...

Your precious girl and family have been on my heart all day today, a loss that no words could describe. I will continue to keep your family in our prayers x

Svetlana Austin said...

I am crying with, Leanne... but in Him we have hope of joyous reunion ♥

Alanna said...

Oh Leanne. Words can't describe how my heart is breaking for you and your family. I have never met you, nor had the pleasure of meeting your inspirational daughter Emma, but tears are pouring down my face. I delivered a beautiful baby girl today, whom they named Emma. I can only hope this is the circle of life going round in a magical way. Bless you and your family at this time, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Much love.

lorraine bate said...

i can't see to type through the tears, sending you strength, prayers and much love.
lorraine B

Anonymous said...

So so sad, it will be 1 day at a time for you all, she will be looking over you all everyday x RIP Emma

Anonymous said...

Beautiful words from a beautiful mummy. Leanne , there are no words to describe this time of loss except for surreal. We have been there, lost Logan to cancer in DEc 2010. I know that the kids will be together, and in a happy happy place, but it's not easy for us left here.

I truly hope that you find some comfort in the love that we all want to shower your family with, although we cannot bring Emma back, you will Forever have contact with your angel, there is no way the communication ever stops. Which is a beautiful thing . I wouldn't be here if I didn't know this.

Leanne and Stuart, from my family to yours.......strength ......and always always always, look for her signs, she'll be sending them x x x x x x xx

Kate said...

There are no words I can say to ease the tremendous heartache your are experiencing, but you have been in my thoughts and in my prayers all day. Emma is flying free with the angels.
Sending much love to you and your family xxx

Julie said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. Thinking of you all. Hugs xxx

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your blog some time back through crafting links, but in doing so also came across Emma's story, which I started following more than the scrapbooking.
I'm so sorry that final corner has been turned. For what it's worth, I won't forget her.

scrappinallie said...

Leanne, I am so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Emma. I have been following your blog and Emma's illness for a number iv years and her courage has been inspirational and has affected me greatly. No words can express my sympathy for you and all your family. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days and wearing blue on Friday in honor of Emma.

Anonymous said...

Sending you light and love. Our daughter Bec died 3 years ago. Words cant describe how unjust it is to say goodbye to your child. I see Bec everywhere. In butterflies that mysteriously float by, in the raucous screech of black cockatoos that hang around, in the Southern Cross and the moon, whenever a new batch of hatched chickens mysteriously appear from under the house... Whenever something crazy happens I roll my eyes and know Bec played some part in it... I know your little girl is around. I know how utterly shocked and horrified youre feeling. Take it a day or sometimes even a minute at a time. All my love, Lorraine. X

Lizzyc said...

I don' t know how you will go on but you will. With the same strength you had in Emmas brave fight and on the prayers and love of everyone around you. So many lives will be lifting your family up on prayer tonight many tears will flow and with Gods help you will one day feel less pain...because God has promised His children a better place free of sickness and pain in Heaven.
And we will see them again.. but for now it is so very hard.
And somany people are so very sad.
Wrapping my arms of prayer around you .. lizzy

Nat said...

Oh honey, my heart breaks into a million pieces for you. Life is so cruel sometimes, so unfair. It will be so hard to go on, but you will take one step in front of the other. Emma will be all around you in the world you now see through different eyes. All my love to you all right now, although nothing can heal your broken heart xx Praying the peace that passes all understanding to your Mumma heart.

Paula said...

I can't truely imagine what this must be doing to you...my heart goes out to you & all the family. As you said...there are no words. Much strength, peace & love to you & your family.

Anonymous said...

Dear Leanne and family, I am so sorry to hear your baby girl has slipped away. No words I say can take away your pain. Please find comfort in knowing you are in my thoughts and sharing your sorrow. Your beautiful Emma is truly an Angel in every sense of the word. Sending you much love,
Debbie (Lumpy, from the Crafty Cows) xx

Sheree said...

Leanne my heart is breaking at the news that you've lost your beautiful little Emma. I'm so terribly sad for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Sheree xx

Michelle D said...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I hope your little angel sends you many beautiful signs to let you know she is now well. I do believe this will happen for you as I have received many from my beautiful grandson who passed away last April from cancer as well. It does not take your pain away but it does give you much needed comfort at times. Today a feather fell from the sky as I walked outside with my other grandson not long after I had just said to my daughter I have not received a sign for a while... I believe they hear us and try to reach us at times of need. Even when we least expect... Sending you all a lot of love and hugs at this very sad time... RIP Dear Emma!

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

I have not stopped crying since I read the news yesterday...I am so very sorry for your loss..hugs and prayers to you and your family.....

Janzey Pratt said...

Leanne my heart is breaking with you. Our prayers are with you Stu and the kids and all the family. I can hardly type through the tears as well. Try to get some sleep although I know its going to be hard tomorrow. Im on the phone first thing but ill try not to crowd you guys in this difficult time. Let me know. Cassidy and Macca send their love and cuddles too. All our love Janz and John xxoo

DeAnn in Utah, USA said...

I want your to know that the whole desmoid community is with you in spirit from all over the world. we will all be wearing blue on friday.

Alicia said...

Leanne- I found your blog through a crafty friend of mine and I sent Emma a package with stickers a couple years back. Ever since then I've been following Emma's story. I am so saddened to hear she's passed. We've never met and I'm sure we never will (I'm in the US), but please know you & your family are in my thoughts. May your memories bring you strength and comfort during this painful time.

Unknown said...

I wa so sad to hear about Emma ,Dawn had been keeping me updated and I had been thinking of her a lot this week as I knew she had been very unwell,I am thinking of you and all your family at this incredibly sad and difficult time, but I know you will find the strength from somewhere to get you through this time and maybe someday start to smile again at all the wonderful memories you have of your beautiful litlle girl. Sally-Anne x(Dawns sister in Ireland )

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry.

Shazz said...

I was so devastated to read of Emma's passing Leanne.
May she find peace and no pain resting in the arms of the angels.
My thoughts are with you all at this very sad time xo

Kim Shriane said...

Thinking of you all and I dont know what to say only that there are so many people out there giving you strength and love...
xxxxxxxxxx Kim and Reece

Michelle Winston said...

Dear Leanne and family,
Emma was a beautiful and courageous girl and I am truly saddened to hear of her passing.
Have hope in tomorrow, have faith in the everlasting, and take comfort in the love of friends and family.
Wishing you all strength and peace at this very sad and difficult time. xxx

Lauren said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. You are in my thoughts. xx

Heather Jacob said...

so so sad and I feel your pain , our son Mark died 13 years ago and the pain and loss is still there, but it does become a little easier with time . Your pain is so raw and I feel for all of you . It is something only bereaved parents know , take care and be gentle on yourself ... sending you a great big hug xoxoxo

Cherie said...

My heart goes out to you and your family Leanne, I can not imagine your pain.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
Emma was such a specail girl and her memory will live on forever in the hearts of the people who's lives she touched.
Cherie xoxo

Car said...

Thinking of you Leanne, may your beautiful girl fly free with the angels xxx

Susanne said...

Girl, I'm so so sorry to hear Emma has gone. You have told her story with so much love, thank you for sharing it with us.. May she rest in peace, she is now free from illness and suffering. You're all in my prayers.

Catie said...

Deepest sympathies to you and your family, Leanne. May your beautiful Emma rest in peace and fly with so many beautiful angels returned to Heaven before her. Praying for strength and peace for you... May your memories and love for Emma keep her oh so close to your hearts xxxxx

Michelle Jamieson said...

Thinking of you and your beloved family, Leanne. Xx

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how your family must be feeling or will cope with the loss, Leanne, of your beautiful Emma, a sweet, gorgeous girl who had so many memories to create yet.
The only thing that will give you all peace is knowing that now Emma will be with the angels, in no pain and flying with wings of her own.
I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make the pain go away......
Sharon xx
MAW Gold Coast

Suzanne said...

So so sorry for your loss, I have seen your beautiful pages of your dear beautiful girl and am sending hugs and prayers to your family.xxx

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing Emma's journey with us, she will be ever so greatly missed by everyone who knew her.. I only knew her through your updates. She was an inspiration to not only myself but to everyone who met her or heard about her. May God comfort you and all the family at this very sad time . xxx Lou xxx

Anonymous said...

May God not only understand your broken heart but give you the strength and peace to carry on eachday with Emmas beautiful memory. Knowing that if you believe in him he will reunite your family with Emma oneday. I know you may not know how you are going to get through this, but for Emmas sake you will x
Prayers when it gets really tough will help you too, all the love in the world x

Bev said...

Leeanne,Stuart,Mishae and Jacob....wishing your family the strength needed to cope with the sad passing our your beautiful daughter and sister. May Emma forever fly with the angels, liberated from her pain and suffering xx

mizbear said...

I was so sorry to see this news this morning. The tears have been coming on and off all day. Praying for you the peace which passes understanding.

Leah said...

There are no words that can help at this time, I know, but just know how much you and your gorgeous family are being remembered at this time in our prayer and thoughts. How much your gorgeous Emma touched and inspired us, even though a lot of us never even "met" her. So many tears being shed for a beautiful soul, now flying free.

Anonymous said...

Life is so unfair :'-(

I wish you and your family a lot of strenght.

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

My heart was broken on Friday...so I share your tears and heartbreak. I have been following along and praying for Miss Emma and so wanted that miracle. My mom was the MOST wonderful mother in the world and I just have to think that she will know Emma in heaven.

Bron said...

XXXXX

Mandy said...

Nothing I can say. Hugs to you all...

Catherine said...

I am so so sorry for your loss Leanne. May you gain strength from those who love you to help you through this painful time. Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Rest in peace little angel <3

Leanne, much love to you and your family at this very difficult and sad time

xoxox From Venezuela

Kathie Link said...

My heart breaks for you, Leanne. Your poor baby girl, gone far too early. May you get some comfort from the love that is surrounding you at this terrible time. xxx

kim said...

Oh Leanne. I am so so very sorry to hear about your lovely Emma. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love and hugs to you all. Kim Archer.

Diary of a Flutter.Kat said...

Thinking of you from afar and sending you love and strength for this time.
Kat

cass said...

Dear Leanne and family, I'm Cass i sent Emma the little stitched Hearts a few years back. I lost my beautiful Sister to Cancer in 2010. My picture of her in Heaven is of Bek, my sister and my Dad with their jazz band. My Dad will be singing very loudly but luckily in tune as he was always wont to do. Bek will be bossing everyone around and organising the band as that is her special skill and now i see little Emma dancing around them and I know Bek will dance with her. I wish i could help you get through the next few years, it is hard, so hard but there are so many of us here to love and support you. Emma will never be forgotten through her story you shared with us. All my love to you and your family Leanne,
Cass

Michele the Witch said...

Just as no words can describe how you feel, I have no words to describe how my heart aches for you and your family. I wish I knew of some way to help or make it better... One day, one hour, one minute at a time is all you can do. I hope the love and support from everyone makes it even a little easier. Be kind to yourself

Jo Baker said...

Have had you and Stuart and the kids on my mind all day knowing that you had to farewell Emma today.

I can't begin to imagine the pain in that goodbye but hope that the wonderful memories you created with Emma helped you celebrate her short but incredible life.

Take care of yourself and each other now and be comforted by the memories and the signs she leaves you.

xxx

Sue from Cyprus said...

I pray that the Lord wraps His arms around you and your Family and give you comfort.
Sincerely sorry
Sue from Cyprus xxxx

knitgirl66 said...

My thoughts are with you ... Emma has touched so many of us...Thank you for sharing her life with us ...
"High in Heaven'
Tall she stands.
On a pedestal, high.
Cheers of devotion.
Family and friends say goodbye.

She is winner.
She passed the test.
After years of fortitude.
It is her time to rest.

For those left behind.
Put your mind at ease.
There is proof she lives beyond.
In every strong breeze.
(This was written by Nicole Giles, another wonderful young woman taken too young)

ivana shamsuddin said...

It is always always hard to say goodbye. Just remember we re here for you and your family and praying for little Emma. She is with God. God loves her more. That's why God took her earlier than us :') love ivana :-)

Christine said...

Oh Leanne, my heart is breaking for you and your family, it is much too soon for your beautiful girl to be taken from your loving arms. Thinking of you,
Christine